Jesus, Jesus

Jesus, Jesus – Noah Gundersen
Jesus, Jesus, could you tell me what the problem is
With the world and all the people in it?
Because I've been hearing stories about the end of the world
But I'm in love with a girl and I don't wanna leave her
And the television screams such hideous things
They're talking about the war on the radio
They say the whole thing's gonna blow
And we will all be left alone
No we'll be dead and we won't know what hit us
Jesus, Jesus, if you're up there won't you hear me
'Cause I've been wondering if you're listening for quite a while
And Jesus, Jesus, it's such a pretty place we live in
And I know we fucked it up, please be kind
Don't let us go out like the dinosaurs
Or blown to bits in a third world war
There are a hundred different things I'd still like to do
I'd like to climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower
Look up from the ground at a meteor shower
And maybe even raise a family
Jesus, Jesus, there are those that say they love you
But they have treated me so damn mean
And I know you said "forgive them for they know not what they do"
But sometimes I think they do
And I think about you
If all the heathens burn in hell, do all their children burn as well?
What about the Muslims and the gays and the unwed mothers?
What about me and all my friends?
Are we all sinners if we sin?
Does it even matter in the end if we're unhappy?
Jesus, Jesus, I'm still looking for answers
Though I know that I won't find them here tonight
But Jesus, Jesus, could you call me if you have the time?
And maybe we could meet for coffee and work it out
And maybe then I'll understand what it's all about



This song doesn't necessarily coincide with my beliefs but it struck home as I listened to it. There are so many problems, questions, doubts, fears, and God is not always visibly interacting with us. I’ve asked why He could let something like “this” happen, why He doesn't fix everything and just make everyone happy and peaceful. I’ve doubted his existence, doubted his power, doubted his ability to fix things. I’ve left Him out of my daily routine and I very nearly left Him behind when I left for college. I have essentially LIVED this song and I go through periods of hating myself for it. Then I step back and I realize, this isn’t what He wants. He doesn’t want me to hate myself for having doubts or being scared or leaving Him behind. Sure, it saddens Him when I do these things, but ultimately, all He wants is for me is to come back to Him, to believe in Him and love Him, and to share Him and His love with others. No doubt, it will be a constant, challenging test of my faith, especially while I’m at school but I know that if I trust in Him, and with enough of the right types of support, I can strengthen my faith in Him, even beyond what I had as a child.
Whether you believe in the same God as me, different Gods, or no God at all, this song can still speak to you. We are all more or less seeing, hearing about, and experiencing the same social problems. We all have doubts and fears about our government, wars, poverty, basic needs being met, and many other things. We all also have the same basic goals: to be successful in whatever we do, to be happy, to be a part of a loving, caring family, no matter what the makeup of that family may be. With all these similarities, you’d think we would be willing to sit down and talk to each other about our doubts and fears more often, to get things off our chests and relieve our minds. Here’s your chance to start. I’ve always offered to be an outlet for my friends to talk to if they ever have a problem or want to get something off their chest but I’ve never made a wide-spread effort to allow people to get things off their chest. This is my first attempt:
I have set up two e-mail accounts, caresandfears@hotmail.com and advice.please@hotmail.com . If you have any problems, any doubts, any fears that you just need to get off your chest without the feeling that someone will judge you, feel free to send them to the first one. This one is completely anonymous. I have set up the account purely for this purpose and I will never check it again. I used a password that is completely unique to the account and one that I will not remember 2 days from now.
If you have problems or questions you want advice or feedback on, send them to the second one. If you want to be anonymous, that’s fine too! Check out a disposable e-mail account such as the one at http://mytrashmail.com/ . Make sure you find one in which you can receive replies back or leave some other way of contacting you if this is the method you use. I will do my best to answer and advise and if I can’t personally help you, I’ll try to get you in touch with someone who can. You can also send cares and fears to this one if you want someone (me) to see them. If you don’t want feedback and just want to share, simply specify that in the e-mail and I will do nothing more than read it.

11/17/2009

© 2007-2009 Jacob Tauer
This information is not to be used in any form, online or off, without the express permission of the author

Once Upon A Time…

I recently rediscovered a song that I somehow remember hearing many times throughout my childhood and have had it playing on my iPod and computer almost continuously ever since.
A special someone colored me a picture of a Sesame Street character I grew up knowing as “Cookie Monster.”  This picture, however, featured a character that looked much like Cookie Monster except he had assorted vegetables in front of him and the caption originally read, “Me love veggies!”
A few weeks ago, in my Psychology lab, we were talking about modeling behavior and stereotypes.  To illustrate how much violence is in some children’s shows, we watched a segment of an episode of Power Rangers.  After class, many of us joked about the over-acting and special effects.
What do these things have in common with each other and too many other tings?  They were all part of a childhood that is long gone and forgotten for most of us.  Sure, the song from my childhood may be different than someone else’s, and maybe a lot of girls didn’t watch Power Rangers but you can surely think of other things from your childhood that have been lost or forgotten.
So what happened to that childhood?  Surely society did not simply delete everything associated with those years, erasing it forever.  No, that can’t be possible because, chances are, that childhood crush you had is probably still alive and well, and your parents probably still have much of your childhood stuff.  So where did it go?  I’m willing to bet that it’s still in your memory, just shoved back behind years of experiences and book-learning.
We all need a little relief from the everyday stresses and strains of our lives.  Since those memories are still there, why don’t you access them, get a little reprieve, and take a stroll down memory lane?  Do this with a friend or parent to help remind you of things you once loved but have since forgotten.  Take some time to write those things down and, every once in a while, pull out that list of memories out and re-live them in your mind.  After all, to feel the freedom and carelessness of a child again, you have to remember what it’s like to be a child.
Once you’ve done this, post a memory, favorite book or TV show, or things you used to do, and read about what others did and liked.  Who knows, maybe you’ll find out your worst enemy actually liked and did many of the same things as you! 

11/10/2009

© 2007-2009 Jacob Tauer
This information is not to be used in any form, online or off, without the express permission of the author

My Letter to the Prior Lake American

As a graduate in the Class of 2009, I must say that Prior Lake High School's administration is going much too far in their regulation of school dances. When I read the article about "inappropriate dancing" and how administrators are reacting, I was shocked. Since Dr. Olson left our school, the atmosphere has become more and more like a prison. I understand some rules that have put into place such as the cellphone policy and others that may directly improve the safety and integrity of the school but I don’t see how regulating how students dance affects either of these components. If these ridiculous policies continue, students will soon not be allowed to talk during lunch or they will be required to bring their entire wardrobes into the school to be checked and approved.

Administrators at Prior Lake High School are abusing their power and infringing on students’ First Amendment rights. Yes, I realize that students have very few rights in school, certainly nowhere near what is guaranteed by the Constitution but this is still an unfair and unneeded infringement.

In my freshman year, students were generally happy with the school and administration, most of the time not so much as complaining about early start times. Since then, I have heard and experienced more and more unrest and discomfort among the student body as the administration enacts more restrictions and takes away more freedoms from students.

I have a feeling that if too many rules are placed on school dances, attendance to those dances will drop significantly. The administration may not mind this but it would be tremendously unfortunate for students because, in my friends’ and my experience, dances were a large, integral portion of our social lives, ranking up there with Friday night football games and “Taco Bell runs” after sporting events. I would hate to see students be deprived of the fun and social experience that I enjoyed so much in my four years at Prior Lake High School.
-A Concerned Alumnus

10-22-2009

© 2007-2009 Jacob Tauer
This information is not to be used in any form, online or off, without the express permission of the author
 

A Mid-Teen-Life Crisis?

Remember when everything you knew was 100% true without a question? When you could believe anything anyone told you and it was perfectly acceptable knowledge to keep? What ever happened to those days? Just last night I realized I’m going through this midlife crisis thing, teenager style. I’ve started to doubt everything I have ever known to be true. I used to believe in my faith without question. Now I’m somewhat unsure about whether what I have can even be considered faith anymore. I was always told (and have told others) that everything will end up okay in the end but I’m not entirely sure I can even believe that anymore with everything that goes on in this world. Just like a mid-life crisis, I’ve started to doubt if what I have been doing in life and what I had planned for my life is what I really want to do. Do I really want to go into the Guard or do I have the wrong motives? Do I want to go to school and, if so, where and for what? I’m even questioning and going as far as regretting many of my past decisions relating to school, relationships, friends, and family. I just can’t help but wonder what might have happened if I had made the opposite decision or chose to do one thing over another. This isn’t to say that I’m unhappy with my life because, in some areas, I’ve never been happier. It just bothers me not knowing whether I would have been happier if I had stayed in touch with this person or if I hadn’t decided to try something. Now I’m scared to make any major decisions because I know that, later in life, I could potentially go through this whole thing again, regretting the decisions I’m making right this second. Who knows, maybe I’ll even regret writing this instead of paying attention to my math review. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I would ask people for help but everyone either tells me what they want me to do or they won’t tell me anything. Neither answer helps me much since neither helps me to consider options that are best for me. It really sucks that that’s how this world works but it also sucks that there’s a constant possibility of nuclear war or contracting some new, deadly disease that hasn’t been discovered yet.

And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country, friends, family, or leaders can do for you (because they won’t be able to help much if your goal is to be happy), ask what decisions will best benefit your country, friends, families, and leaders. That’s the only real way to ensure that ANYBODY is happy.

1-5-2009

© 2007-2009 Jacob Tauer
This information is not to be used in any form, online or off, without the express permission of the author
 

Problem...solved?

I feel like this won’t go away no matter how hard I try to squeeze my eyes shut so I can’t see the pain…Everything that I can say to you won’t help you. Everything you need is right in front of you, just take it… Try to make it through the daily pain that you feel. Maybe tomorrow won’t be so bad. I know it because I once felt that way. Nothing I could say made it go away. I lived through this, I still feel this, I just live for my tomorrow. Make it go away, just make it go away.

Through the last few years, I have actively listened to and helped my good friends with their problems whether they are relationship problems, family issues, or other things that may come up. I love helping my friends in any way I can but I sometimes wonder if I do too much. I know I get a lot of help from my friends when I have problems and I appreciate it but I also went through a long period of time without any help from friends and I got through it just fine. I know that I can handle anything that comes up by myself if need be. Some friends, however, seem like they have never dealt with anything by themselves before. They always seem to want a plan for exactly how to handle things in their lives and I don’t have all the answers for them. I worry about what will happen when they go away to college or if I ever can’t be there for whatever reason. Daily I contemplate not helping these friends who need help constantly. A tough-love lesson in life may do them some good and teach them how to deal but, at the same time, I worry that they will either take it the wrong way and completely erase me from their lives or that they will end up hurting themselves or someone else. Either way, I could very easily end up the bad guy because I either “abandoned” my friends or I’m babying them and risking making them so dependent that, throughout the rest of their lives, they cannot get through their own problems without serious help. Who knew that someone who impacted only a small handful of people in his freshman year could potentially be making so many people’s lives so very difficult? I love my friends to death, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything, but why the heck do I have the power to influence them so much? I would almost like to go back to 9th grade when there was not nearly so much potential to negatively influence people. Unfortunately, this is not an option so I must take my chances with life as it is, hoping no one ends up hating me. I am just trying to help after all. It’s just too bad that, in this world, trying to do the right thing is almost always considered the wrong thing.

12-17-2008

© 2007-2009 Jacob Tauer
This information is not to be used in any form, online or off, without the express permission of the author