Inner Monologue of a Crazy Writer//The Persecution and Struggles of an Aspiring Writer

Sooo…starting with nothing again, huh? Oh well, that is usually when you come up with some of your best stuff. Okay, maybe that has only truly happened once but it was a fairly good piece, and it really let people inside your head…heck, it even gave your secrets away on how to write the way you do (what some people insist on calling “good” and “inspirational”).

I don’t really see what's so good or inspirational about what you do…it doesn’t propose anything that will save the world; it’s just thoughts from my big ol’ melon. Although, if my simple thoughts really are that inspiring, maybe I should do what that old creepy guy told me to do and start selling my work instead of letting anyone have it for free. Nah, I can’t do that to my work and the few people that follow it. If someone wants to steal something, let them. I have all the original manuscripts signed and dated anyways. Besides, I like letting people read my stuff, getting feedback, and hearing new ideas. Some of my best final products have only come about because of the comments people make and proposed changes I consider. No…for now, the randomness stays, free of charge, for everybody.

The only problem with leaving this stuff open to everybody is that I always have to censor myself in my final products because there’s always those one or two people that pop into my head that would be offended by something I say or object to the content of what I write. Sure, I can always keep those separate in a folder on paper but it’s not very easy to distribute my ideas in this way.

I used to have places to fully express myself. It started on MySpace where I could make my profile, write my blogs, and I had only my closest friends on there so I knew I could say what I wanted without fear. Well, then MySpace got lame and didn’t work so I went to Facebook. There too, I could say what I wanted on my profile, in my beliefs, and in my notes…until Facebook stopped being a way to keep in touch with my closest friends and I instead added anyone and everyone I knew. Once that happened, I again had to begin censoring myself so I moved to a forum where I figured strangers could come across my writing, read, and critique it, and be generally supportive of what I was trying to do, if not my ideas. I found out quickly, however, that, even though it was a general writing forum, some ideas were not appreciated by administrators. I moved to a blog.

At first, I thought it was great because it kept all my writings neat and organized, in the public eye, and open to critiques and feedback. I did not realize, however, that bloggers that post every couple weeks at most don’t get a lot of traffic or attention and the occasional visitor leaves no comments or thoughts whatsoever.

Then the suggestion comes, “well, why don’t you just advertise on Facebook, in your e-mails, wherever you can?” The answer to that is two-fold. One: I do not like spamming people with stuff….usually. Two: If I advertise on Facebook, I will be attracting (or at least inviting) all the people that forced me to censor myself in the first place.

So where can I put my writings?? That is one question I have yet to find an answer for.

10-22-2009

© 2007-2009 Jacob Tauer
This information is not to be used in any form, online or off, without the express permission of the author
 

Musical Therapy

Country evokes memories of summers past, time spent with family and friends, and reminds you of that special love you have for that certain someone. Country is the old dog you grew up with, that childhood infatuation with the prettiest girl in town; it's dinners with the family, it's gathering around the TV for a movie with your close friends. Country is what you listen to when you're fishing, at a bonfire, or hanging out, doing nothing in particular. Country is your day-to-day life but, at the same time, it's also those big moments that stick with you forever. Country provides you with the words you couldn't find and it always seems to fit your situation perfectly. Country can paralyze you with emotion or it can give you the strength and courage to do something you never thought possible.

Rock, metal, etc. is a releasing genre. It typically doesn't come with too many memories but when you listen to rock, you can feel, deep within your chest, all kinds of emotions jumping around inside you. Listening to rock the way it should be, with headphones blaring and playing along, allows all those emotions to release via the release of energy. Somehow, even though you are releasing energy, rock also seems to have many of the same effects as endorphins: creation of energy from nothing and a feel-good feeling when you're done.

Rap is good for when you're pissed off, drunk, or want to dance. That's about it…but it has its place too.

10-6-2009

© 2007-2009 Jacob Tauer
This information is not to be used in any form, online or off, without the express permission of the author
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The Writing Process

Sometimes when you think you have the least inspiration is actually when you have the most. I started off staring at a blank page without a clear, profound thought in the world and yet, here I am, still writing. I have a feeling this will be either a short piece or a very long one that I work on for some time and keep adding to. It can't be hurting me to put my thoughts down, after all, no matter how random or pointless they may seem. Who knows, maybe something profound is just waiting to pop out! Right now I don't feel overly profound or in-depth but I'm at about a half page so who knows?

By the way, many people have asked where I get my ideas and how I write the way I do…this is it. I pretty much just sit down and start writing every single thought that comes into my head. Sometimes it comes out poetic, sometimes narrativistic. Sometimes it's just straight thoughts like this. I never know what will come out before-hand and that's what I like most about writing. I can always surprise myself with what's going on in my head subconsciously. Sometimes, I'll admit, I have to work a little bit in order to get things to flow and all that but there are other times it all goes for me like a story and my hand can hardly keep up with my thoughts. It's those instances that worry me most because I'm always afraid I'll lose something meaningful or great even though, in the end, I'm generally happy with the ideas I get in, even if I don't necessarily like how the piece is written. Endings are especially weak points for me. I can usually come up with good endings in poems but with essay-style writings, I am never happy. No surprise that my introductions and conclusions suck in school papers, huh? Somehow though, I always seem to get great grades and comments, even on papers that hardly took me an hour to write. Hopefully that will transition to college…

Seeing as my writing is so random, I ask you to follow along as best you can and ask questions if you get lost. Not sure why I decided to throw that in there, but it sounded good in my head at the time.

Anyways, seeing as it's 1:00 am on a (now) Tuesday, I leave you with this advice:

1. 
   
   Start writing. It's very therapeutic and mind-clearing. Pick up a pen and notebook and write down everything that you think.
   
   
   
2. 
   
   Do not edit anything until you are completely through writing. You may eliminate something that you want later. Leave it in there, as random as it may be, until the end.
   
   
   
3. 
   
   Never give up on a piece, even if you aren't happy with it. You may find a better way to fix it later. I have three or four pieces sitting around that I'm still not happy with, knowing that I will someday get them to where they need to be to publish.
   
   
   
4. 
   
   Do it for yourself. Sure, I love getting feedback and posting what I write for others to read but I always do what I want with it in the end. Take critiques…and throw them out if you want. Make sure your writing can always say "by: YOU", not "by: YOU (with additions from…)". Own your writing.
   
   
   

That's all I've got.

Goodnight.

9-15-2009

© 2007-2009 Jacob Tauer
This information is not to be used in any form, online or off, without the express permission of the author