Invincible

Flying down a deserted, windy county road, windows open, dash lights dimmed or off.  People may say this is one of the risky behaviors young adults are known for, the actions that prove 14-25 year olds think they are invincible, unable to be touched, even if the tires begin to squeal or the body of the vehicle tips dangerously to one side around a turn.  Now add in a focus that is more on the landscape bathed in pale moonlight than the road and an emotional song or silence from the radio.  All of a sudden, this seemingly happy-go-lucky reckless joyride by the young adult has a more sinister feel to it.  The final piece to the “puzzle” is the “Who cares?” or “I wonder what would happen if…” mindset that some people experience when things aren’t going right in life.  All of a sudden, this joyride that seemed so incidental and characteristic of an age group has turned into a cold, calculated semi-suicide attempt.

Semi-suicide attempts can take many forms, many not involving vehicles.  A college student goes to the bars to drink away that memory of a girl and decides to see just how much his body can handle.  A girl doesn’t even like cigarettes, but smokes a pack a day or more, knowing that they kill, but needing the control over her life.  A “pimp,” a “legend,” even, sleeps with multiple girls every weekend, sometimes using safety measures, sometimes not, caring more about the immediate pleasure and his reputation than what and STD or AIDS may do to his life.

Yes, teenagers and young adults can be reckless for the fun of it, because they like the adrenaline rush.  But many, many more perform reckless actions because of the control it gives them.  These actions allow them to control what they are doing to themselves with the knowledge that with one fell swoop, they could take complete control over everything and end everything.  They don’t necessarily want to kill or injure themselves but if things in life get a little too out of hand, it’s easy enough to turn that semi-suicide attempt into a true suicide attempt.

Depression is under-diagnosed across all ages, races, and cultures, but one of the worst groups is young adults because of their ability and tendency to be more reckless and free with their actions.  Adults, being more “mature” and contemplative of their actions, typically don’t commit semi-suicide attempts because it takes time in many cases and they have many other things to think about.  Young adults, generally being much more self-centered, think mainly of themselves and do things on a whim instead of weighing pros and cons.

If you ever catch yourself committing a semi-suicide attempt, a true suicide attempt, having depressive, suicidal, or death-filled thoughts, or if you just need or want to talk about anything, PLEASE talk to someone.  My close friends as well as a few others know that I’m always willing to talk through problems in an unbiased, logical way.  At the very least, it’ll help you get your thoughts straight.  If you don’t have my phone number, you can reach me at j_tauer@hotmail.com or contact me on Facebook.  We can talk through either of those or I can give you my number so we can talk or text.  If you do have my number, texting is the best way to get ahold of me and we can figure out the best way to communicate from there.  The only times I’m not available are when I’m working or in class…and even that’s not always true.  Feel free to contact me, no matter how well we know each other, whether we’ve never met or talked, or if you’re my best friend.

*Note: I am in no way, shape, or form happy with this post.  It has many issues and is missing many of the ideas I meant to include.  It started off as part of “Disorganized” but grew into a separate piece.  This is much better, but still nowhere near what I want it to be or what I expect from myself.  I’m sorry to disappoint.  Like “Disorganized,” I hope to be able to come back to this piece and re-write and re-master it.

6/1/2010

© 2007-2010 Jacob Tauer
This information is not to be used in any form, online or off, without the express permission of the author